Guild Wars 2: 6 reasons I’m an obvious bot

by manylaughs on November 9, 2012

As you might have heard, the super cops at the ArenaNet Police Academy recently caught my bot in a general bot crime sweep. When you look back on it, it was inevitable I’d get caught by the ArenaNet Clouseaus. After all, I was so clearly a bot. There are so many reasons my characters stood out as bots, probably too numerous to count, but here are six that come to mind:

6 reasons I’m an obvious bot.

1. My level 80s are the best botting classes – thief and mesmer.
All those other bots are rangers and warriors. ArenaNet would never suspect a thief or mesmer class. You’d think they’d die too easily as bots, wouldn’t you? To keep from dying, you might think someone would almost always have to be playing those two classes, right?

See how clever it is botting with classes no self-respecting botter would use? Well, not clever enough. My thief-mesmer, diabolical, botting scheme was foiled.

2. I like pretty colors.
That’s my mesmer, below. I figured if I used some valuable dyes instead of selling them, it would act like I’m-not-a-bot camouflage. I even went to the trouble of getting Hall of Monument rewards in Guild Wars so I’d look less like the obvious bot I am. The armor I’m wearing is Guild Wars heritage armor.

Who would ever suspect a purple mesmer as a bot? Fooled you all, didn’t I? All of you except the ArenaNet bot cops. Couldn’t fool them, darn it.

3. My bot spends about 20% of its valuable botting time in WvW and PvP.
I’m a Deer in PvP – that means I’ve spent some time in PvP – and I have more than 200 Badges of Honor from World versus World (WvW). Some day that glory and those badges are going to be worth something and all those other bots are going to be sorry they didn’t spend their valuable botting time in WvW or PvP.

Yeps, they’re going to be extra sorry.

4. My bot does dailies.
This is another area where my other botting compadres have it all wrong. I do my dailies, every day, and I horde the rewards. Those karma jugs are going to be worth big money some day. So what if they’re account bound?

I’m saving those mystic coins, too. Maybe they’re worth something on the Black Lion Trading Company (BLTC), now, but I have every one I’ve ever earned – over 100, now, and I’m hanging on to them. They’re going to be worth the enormous bucks, someday. You just wait and see.

5. I make sure it looks like my bot gets bored.
I might do the events at Penitent Way – very popular spot to hang with other bots – but you know what my obvious, super-clever bot program does? It gets bored standing around and waiting for the next event there to go off, again. It runs off to gather some mats or it starts the event with the Gorillas and the scientist. Or it spends silver teleporting around trying to find another event (Maybe Arah is up?).

No one would suspect a character who doesn’t stay in one place too long as being a bot. But the Keystone Constables at ArenaNet caught me. I guess I wasn’t clever enough.

6. I spend real life money at the Black Lion Trading Company.
So far, I’ve bought about 6 Black Lion key packs, an upgrade to the Digital Edition, an extra character slot and a few other things.

Do you see how super-genius-Wiley-Coyote-clever that is?

What sort of moron botter actually spends real money in the game? That would be crazy. Yeah, but not if you wanted them to think that. Crazy like a fox, that’s me. And, yet, they still caught me. ArenaNet can’t be fooled. They’re so smart. They have such an infallible, HAL-9000 bot detection program they’re detecting even the clever botters like me.

(Author’s note: Guess I fooled ArenaNet, after all. 48 hours after being banned they restored my account.)

XxAudioxX.2519 November 12, 2012 at 5:43 pm

This is hilarious and totally made my day. I was also banned saturday at 1:30pm PST for being a bot, using macros or hacking. I am not into either of those things. It’s what I consider “dishonest gaming”. Which isn’t my style. Thanks for making me laugh on a day it was much needed.

horsicorn November 12, 2012 at 5:47 pm

haha thanks for giving me a good laugh while I wait to (hopefully) get unbanned. How did you get your account back in 48 hours?!? and on a weekend? you think being a writer helps? lol

manylaughs November 12, 2012 at 7:08 pm

I actually got banned before the weekend. Filed a support ticket and when they finally got to it 2 days later, they probably took one look at my character classes and armor dyes, and reinstated me.

I don’t think being a writer helped at all. My support ticket was little more than this: “Please, take a look at my account. I’m sure you’ll see I’m not a bot.” Fortunately, ArenaNet agreed.

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